HomeAboutSpeakingCollaborationBlogPressStories

Hi, I’m Jaimie.

From wallflower to federal prosecutor and law firm partner, learning a thing or two about drinking along the way.

How It Started

Becoming a Lawyer

I grew up in a small town and as an extremely shy kid. I let my shyness chart my path for a while, dropping college courses that required public speaking. When I had to speak in public, I battled nerves to the point of nausea, tears, and nightmares.

But then I got the wild idea to become a lawyer. Not just any lawyer, but a trial lawyer who would have to stand up in court and argue before judges and juries. A world full of stress, adrenaline, and heavy drinking.

How It Started to Go Wrong

Adrenaline and Bourbon

Fast forward to 2010, and I joined the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Manhattan, the celebrated office that brings the highest profile cases and is the subject of the show, “Billions.” Everyone seemingly had a better resume, more sophistication, and more confidence than me. And nearly everyone drank scotch or bourbon.

I thought that if I did, too, I would feel like—or at least seem like—a tough Manhattan prosecutor instead of the awkward girl from small town Pennsylvania. So began a decade of using drinking to play the part of a prosecutor, manage stress, and energize me for the second shift when I arrived home at night.

How It Got Better

Trial and Error

At some point I felt like I had an internal alarm going off at the end of every day, telling me it was time to drink. I felt trapped and alone, as asking for help felt like career suicide. We hear lots of drunken antics stories, but very few quitting drinking stories.

I read everything I could that might help me quit on my own. I tried different methods, I connected, little by little, with people online and mostly overseas and therefore at a safe distance from my life. I searched for documentaries and stories of people who drank like me and changed.

How I Can Help

The Power of Storytelling

Throughout my career I saw that stories, more than arguments, change minds and change lives. I looked for years to see myself in someone else’s story and give me hope.

Had I found that story earlier, I would have quit earlier. That’s why I’m sharing my story now. But while one story can give people hope, many stories can make a movement. If we all told our stories about how the drinking culture failed us and how we want or found a better way, we could transform the culture for ourselves and for the next generation of lawyers. Let’s start now.

Surprise Benefits to Quitting Drinking

When I quit drinking, my world got bigger. When you stop caring about whether or how much you can drink, you have a LOT of time to connect with people and take care of yourself. Everything improved, from my income and job situation to my health and relationships. I did no races in the four years before quitting drinking, and could not even run a mile in December 2020, but in the last four years, I completed:

3 5K road races with my younger daughter
1 5K obstacle course race with my younger daughter
1 Halloween costume 5K with BOTH of my parents, my husband, and both daughters
1 10-mile road race with a friend
2 Spartan Beast (13 mi) obstacle course races with my husband
3 Half Ironman relay races with my father and my older brother
And the NYC marathon.

I didn’t quit drinking to get in shape or run races, but had I not quit, I never would have made these memories.

From Courtrooms to Coping: My Decade-Long Battle Behind the Scenes

Fast forward to 2010, and I joined the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Manhattan, the celebrated office that brings the highest profile cases and is the subject of the show, “Billions.” To say I had impostor syndrome would be the greatest of understatements. Everyone had a better resume, more sophistication, and more confidence. And nearly everyone drank scotch or bourbon.

I thought that if I did, too, I would feel like—or at least seem like—a tough Manhattan prosecutor instead of the awkward girl from Macungie. So began a decade of using drinking to try to manage stress, supply liquid courage, and energize me for the “second shift” when I arrived home at night.

In the end, my drinking just created a whole new—and much worse—source of stress.

Over the years that I tried and tried and tried to quit, I kept searching in vain for a role model.After all, lots of lawyers drink too much. Lots of mothers of young children drink too much.

Why couldn’t I find anyone who drank like me and had quit and was sharing what worked?

If I had found that person earlier, I think I would have quit earlier. And that realization led to this site.

subscribe

The Newsletter

Your weekly dose of real stories, screwups, studies, advice, and lessons learned to keep you moving forward.

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.