One of the most surprising benefits of quitting drinking for many people—including me—has been a surge in confidence. Yes, there are moments of insecurity when you're suddenly without that familiar crutch, like feeling awkward at social events without a drink in hand. Or facing awkward situations without “liquid courage.” But as you run more and more laps without alcohol, those insecure moments are overtaken by the confidence that comes from finally achieving something you told yourself you should do for months or years.

After quitting, you also start to face discomfort head-on—stress, anxiety, awkwardness, embarrassment. You learn how to experience it and move through it. And every time you do, you build emotional muscle and resilience. Eventually, uncomfortable feelings stop being reasons not to do something.

I thought about all this recently when an acquaintance asked me to pose for a fitness-themed photo shoot. She’s taking a photography class with magazine-style assignments, and for her Men’s/Women’s Health project, she wanted to profile someone who had changed their mental or physical health. She thought of me, which was a huge compliment. And when she explained her choice, she said, “You seem like you’d be game; you seem adventurous.”

Maybe she was buttering me up to say yes, but it occurred to me that I have become more adventurous because I’m now more focused on making memories than on what people will think. And I needed that spirit when I learned that a good part of the shoot was going to be in spandex. So, I found myself in settings around the Brooklyn waterfront that are used for countless photo shoots, usually with very young and very thin subjects, and posed for hours in all my middle-aged glory. And in at least a few of the photos, I managed not to look horribly awkward.

What allows me to be more adventurous now is a trust in myself that I didn’t have before. I trust my judgment because I know that only clearheaded thinking went into reaching a decision. New experiences are less intimidating because I trust myself more to handle whatever comes up. I don’t have to shape my experiences around getting an end-of-day drink or drinking enough to get a buzz but not so much that people will notice, a thought process that was not only exhausting and undermined my confidence but greatly limited spontaneity.

If you’re struggling to quit and think you need alcohol for liquid courage, understand that there is a freedom and confidence on the other side that is far more powerful than the liquid courage ever was.