Here’s something that used to happen to me a lot. I had a stretch of alcohol free days, then faced a stressful event that would normally lead to drinking, powered through without drinking, thought, “Yay! I made it!” And then the next day I’d drink.

I heard this described as relief drinking, or post-relief drinking, and it’s more common than I thought.

This isn’t the usual "I’m stressed, I need a drink."

It’s sneakier. You're not drinking because of the hard moment — you're drinking after it, when your guard is down and your nervous system is still buzzing from holding it all together.

You’re not just reacting to stress — you’re reinforcing a pattern:

• Survive → Hold it together → Wait for safety → Drink

This creates a delayed feedback loop where alcohol still gets tied to stress — just with a lag. Here’s why it happens.

• Decision/willpower fatigue: Resisting impulses takes energy. After the event, your willpower is tapped out.
• Relief = vulnerability: That exhale of “I’m okay” is when your brain thinks it’s safe to reward itself.
• Emotional whiplash: You think you’re calm. But your body’s still processing.

If you don’t know what it’s going on, you might feel confused or frustrated with yourself, which can lead to abandoning hope or self-sabotage. Take a breath; understand it’s just your brain chemistry winding you up.

Just recognizing the timing will help you prevent relief drinking. Start to plan for the after moments. For many of us, that’s where the trap hides. Use the same tools you use to get through other precarious periods. For me, water is the ultimate system reset. A swim, a warm bath, a cold plunge or shower—the full body contact with water is one of my go-tos when I am wound up in that happy relief state.  Let me know what works for you.

P.S. If this hit a nerve, it’s because it’s real. Forward it to someone else who's been there or could use a hand.