Last week’s newsletter was mostly addressed to those still drinking and trying to cut back or quit, so this week is for those on the other side, with some super simple and easy ways they can support and mentor others (especially junior lawyers/employees) around drinking.

If you’ve gone from drinking to not drinking, you’ve likely at some point felt out of place at a work event.  Maybe it felt like you were the only one not drinking. For most of us, not fun.   Here are three things (that literally take seconds!) that you can do to make things a bit better for others in that situation.

1- Give Not Drinking the Same Consideration as a Dietary Restriction.  Few people would arrange a team or client dinner at a steakhouse without asking about dietary restrictions.  It’s become standard before conferences, retreats, and smaller dinners to ask about dietary restrictions (or preferences) *in advance* to make sure attendees enjoy themselves.  So add drinking to the inquiry.  A simple question: “Any food or drink restrictions or preferences?” allows people to more comfortably say “I don’t drink alcohol” before being on the spot at the dinner.

2- Small Comments with a Big Impact. We’ve all been in settings where the drinkers were loud and proud while the non-drinkers were discreet. That can make it feel like everyone is drinking even though they aren’t. Even small comments to a handful of other junior attorneys can shift that: “I picked this restaurant because it has a great zero proof menu.” “I’m going to go grab a mocktail; can I get one for anyone else?” “I see we have a wine tasting coming up; I’ll make sure we have non-alcoholic wines as well.”  It takes ten seconds to make the people around you more comfortable.

3-Offer Strategies for Tricky Situations. You already give advice on how to handle a bullying adversary. Why not add advice on how to handle rude questions or statements around drinking, such as the old,  “Why aren’t you drinking?” These social situations create stress for junior lawyers, who might wonder whether a misstep will hold them back professionally.  You can also offer up some of your own reasons for not drinking (either generally or on a particular night): “I’m much more productive without drinking” (hard to argue with that). Or “I find my workout recovery really improves when I stop drinking.” Sure, it’s a bit of a flex, but not drinking IS a health and productivity hack, so it signals that opting out should be not just accepted but respected.