Last week on LinkedIn I posted about the problem with cocktail receptions (repeated below for reference) but wanted to share the backstory and forward-looking story here.    

The first week in March is the annual ABA White Collar Conference, a national conference of white-collar defense lawyers, most of whom are former federal prosecutors.  Law firms and investigations firms host cocktail parties every evening and night, and you can glide from cocktail party to cocktail party for hours. When I attended in 2022, I mentioned to a former colleague that I no longer drank and was not particularly looking forward to the cocktail parties and he replied, “oh, I’m sure they’ll also have water.”

Let me be clear that these cocktail parties are already, well, not super fun.  Although they are often in fancy places with nice views, they get very loud and crowded very quickly. You can’t really have much of a conversation once it becomes loud and crowded because you are just shouting at close range to another lawyer for a few minutes, and then you need to circulate or assume the other person needs to circulate and move on.  And in those few minutes, a lot of lawyers are either just cracking bad jokes or talking about busy they are. (“How you been?  You busy?  Me? Oh, yeah, so busy. SO BUSY.  But good to be busy, right?”)

Now imagine all of this while sipping water. Whew!

In the last couple of years, I haven’t noticed much of a change in the conference scene, but here’s what I do differently.  I stay at an Air BNB rather than the conference hotel. It’s cheaper, more relaxing, and this year a close friend is staying with me so kind of a girls’ trip right there. I pack in morning social jogs or coffee walk and talks and hang out in the conference hotel lobby so I can see a lot of people before the cocktail parties.  Then I pop by a cocktail party or two early, so I can grab something nonalcoholic before the bar gets too crowded, and when I’m done with my drink I typically leave. I see plenty of people this way, have more fun and real conversations.  And this year, now that more people know my story, I expect the conversations will be better than ever. No one will ever convince me that valuable networking happens screaming at close range at midnight.

But until we can branch out from cocktail receptions, here’s my breakdown and thoughts on how to make them better.

The Liquidity Problem at Cocktail Receptions

Here’s how it plays out.  You arrive, chat with a colleague, and—oh look—servers are circulating with wine. Your colleague grabs a glass without breaking stride. You, opting not to drink alcohol, now have a choice: stand there empty-handed (what do I do with my hands?) or breakaway and head to the bar, where you will embark on a quest to determine whether anything non-alcoholic exists beyond “uh, juice or soda.”

It’s inefficient and frustrating. But easily fixed:

• Better Disclosure. If you’re hosting, put “zero-proof options available” on the invite. No guessing, no awkward “what do you have that’s not water?” moments. Transparency is good. Uncertainty creates friction.
• Improved Liquidity. Offer non-alcoholic beer, wine, and zero-proof spirits. Soda and juice do not count.  It’s 2025–let’s do better.  If you aren’t sure what to stock for guests, comment or DM for plenty of suggestions.
• Market Visibility. If servers are passing out drinks, include NA options. At the bar? List them clearly—preferably with branding, because signaling matters. No one should have to go on a scavenger hunt for a decent drink.

Easy to do and costs almost nothing. And yet, we are still here, asking bartenders if they can “make something non-alcoholic.” Let’s fix this. Events will be better, your guests will thank you, and you will help nudge the industry in the right direction.