It’s vacation season, and I’m hearing a lot about people saying they can’t go without drinking until after vacation or holiday. I get it. I certainly assumed that vacation would be a slightly mopey experience without alcohol. I think that’s because people go without for a few days, find themselves thinking a lot about alcohol, and assume it will be that way forever.

Again, let the dopamine reset. I just wrapped up a week vacation in San Diego, and it was the best vacation we’ve had as a family of four. And I’m being totally straight when I say drinking didn’t cross my mind. It does get SO MUCH EASIER. I know it seems like you’ll always miss it, but you won’t. You just won’t. Other pleasures will spike your brain happy chemicals—sunsets and great beaches and giraffes coming up close and seals coming up on you and whatever. And you’ll wake up the next morning and say to your kids, “wasn’t that amazing?” And you’ll all remember it and be excited to hit it the next day. Or they’ll be bored and annoyed teens, but SOMETIMES they will be excited.

I tried to quit FOR YEARS. I didn’t think I could do thirty days, didn’t even want to attempt it, even when friends were doing a 30-day bootcamp / fitness challenge that involved dropping alcohol. I didn’t want to give it up for Lent. I didn’t want to abstain even if I had a ten-day course of antibiotics. (And truthfully, I didn’t, although I did “cut back.”). I didn’t think vacations would ever be fun without drinking; I’d make a beeline to a liquor store for “supplies” as soon as we arrived somewhere. I’d often get extra that I hid away so my husband wouldn’t know how much I had. And I’d frequently be pretty numbed out at night. Now my 15 yo can ask if I’ll walkdown to the beach with her at night and I’m fine and can watch her enjoying herself. I even got to enjoy watching my kids spontaneously jumping and spinning on a tire swing one night as we walked by a playground after dinner.

I might never see my kids (15 and 12) carefree on a playground again, and I’m glad I didn’t miss it.