Today I was back on cable TV, in studio, for the first time in nearly 3 years. It’s a fun NYC experience —a big black SUV comes to pick you up and take you to the studio, you’re escorted to hair and makeup, where one person does your hair while the other does your face, you get “mic’edup,” then are taken to the desk with the host / anchor, listening through your ear piece and hearing the “ten seconds,” then “five seconds,” then seeing the teleprompter scroll for the host. Exciting! Nerve wracking!

It did not go well. I was out of practice for that format, the questions were a bit different from what I expected, my earpiece went out, blah blah blah, and although I got bit better / warmed up as the segment went on, I was somewhat mortified by my clip.

But it’s the first time I ever did tv and did not drink or smoke afterwards to “work out the nerves.” I just…took the car that was waiting for me (yay!) back to the office and carried on with the day. I thought I could and would do better, but I didn’t obsess, didn’t beat myself up. It was just different. It didn’t rattle my confidence or self-esteem. And Ifeel really happy about that.

Did I think I would crush it because I’m alcohol-free? Yea, I did. I wanted this to be a totally triumphant entry. But in a way it is, because I’ll keep going, keep trying to improve my speaking across all formats, and keep learning. And I heard something recently that really hit home:

DON’T LET YOUR EGO STAND IN THE WAY OF YOUR GOALS.

You want to be something that requires you to take a step along the way that you’re afraid of because you aren’t good at it / might be embarrassed by it? That’s ego standing in the way.  Keep trying, keep learning, keep taking the hard feedback. I whiffed. I’ll do better. That’s what I’m here for. 

For anyone in a rut, maybe try a routine that takes only 10-20 minutes in the morning for one week, just to see how you feel. Don’t make it burdensome, just try it as an experiment. Sunshine, meditation, movement, positive self-talk, whatever. Just something you can control that will be good for you and start your day on the right path. Small changes, compounded over time, add up in ways you can’t imagine.