Day 37
Here. Upstate (NY) in the mountains this long weekend with husband and kids, and this time I didn’t even have the “oh it’s a vacation, I will want to drink” thought. We went out to dinner last night after the gang went snow-boarding (and I had a wonderful quiet day reading), and I never really thought about it, just looked forward to the food and asked for a mock version of whatever looked good on the cocktail menu.

A few quick observations on how it’s gone for me so far, in case it helps those in the first couple weeks:

●    For the first few weeks I didn’t put any pressure on myself about eating or exercising; I thought I’d just do one thing at a time, because I didn’t want it to feel like a diet/health kick that I might suddenly abandon all at once.

●    About two weeks ago I was feeling really good and wanted to shift my eating to capitalize on that so went mostly plant based, which has further helped my mood and energy levels.

●    Earlier this week, given that I was waking up early on my own consistently and had so much more time in the morning, I started morning workouts again. They feel great, but I’m glad I took it slowly and added one thing at a time. It felt like something I really wanted to do, and more like a reward than a task.

Biggest surprise so far:
Going off alcohol this time (started early 2020) doesn’t feel like a “diet,” like giving up chocolate or something, or like a deprivation. Everything feels richer, I feel happier, and I feel just SO RELIEVED. Why? Because I was always concerned about appearing in control and professional, and anytime I knew I wanted more than1-2 drinks or whatever I deemed “acceptable” and “not eyebrow raising” for the occasion, any excess would be in secret. A drink or two beforehand, a drink or two at home after meeting someone for a drink, that starter or top off that I always wanted to get me to the right level of numb. I don’t have to pack alcohol for a weekend away, or search for where the nearest store is to make sure I have it on hand as soon as we arrive. I also don’t have the mental exercise of further trying to make the alcohol hunt seem casual, or like an afterthought, rather than an obsession. Like we’re in the grocery store and I just say, “oh, maybe I’ll just pick something up.” There was just SO MUCH TIME AND ENERGY devoted to scoring a few extra drinks and either hiding it or making it seem totally normal. Wow, I’m glad to let that go.